The Number One Hits of January, 2002

This month I use my Fufkin space to introduce what I'd like to make a monthly feature. First, though, I need to lead you all to this, because the concept might shock you.

As anyone who knows me is well aware, and as even the people who don't know me but read my articles could probably guess, over 95 percent of my record collection consists of recordings that predate my existence. And over 95 percent of what's leftover after you take that stuff away is merely later releases by artists whose initial rise to fame (and quite often their fall from it as well) predates my existence. As a result, I am often so removed from modern pop music (which in the context of this article shall be defined as "stuff on the charts") that I could glance at the Top Twenty charts and only know perhaps one or two of the entries.

Without getting into a whole thing of "Modern pop sucks," I'll just say that much of the reason for my lack of familiarity with current pop music is simply because I never make a point of listening to it. I have no radio in my car anymore, and when I am at home, instead of playing the radio I put on records of my own choice.

Now every few years I've found myself in situations where I had no choice but to be exposed to modern pop. I worked in jobs where the piped in radio was tuned to the Top 40 station all day, so I had no choice but to have the current hits sink into my subconsciousness. And, I must admit, I actually did like a fair number of those records (though far from all of them), and it felt somewhat good to at least have some sense of what was happening in pop.

However, nowadays, I have my own office, and there's a CD player in there, allowing me to once again choose my own soundtrack. As a result, I've once again distanced myself from the modern hit parade.

But I'm going to give in a little bit: Does pop music suck these days, as many tell me it does? As I've been saying, I don't feel informed enough to make that call, so...I've decided to check out the Number One singles of both America and England. Even if these records only represent a slice of the hit parade, they are the ones that outsold everything else for a time, and I can at least pass judgment as to whether these songs were worthy of such honor.

So let's take a look:

THE BRITISH NUMBER ONE SONGS OF JANUARY 2002:

Five different singles took turns reigning the English chart stack this month. Is this a sign that the Merry Olde record buyers change their minds faster than we do in America?

"Something Stupid," Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman.

What an ironic start a way to look at modern music, huh?
Some laughed at the thought of an actress singing with a pop superstar (oh, and a father and daughter singing the same song about going out on dates together *wasn't* strange?). But the truth is, Nicole Kidman and Robbie Williams pulled this one off quite nicely. Though the original 1967 hit recording, a duet by Frank Sinatra and daughter Nancy that went to Number One in America despite being christened 'The incest record' by many, has always been one that easily lent itself to parody, Williams and Kidman play it straight, close to the original with no trace of sneer or condescension. Truth be told, Nicole has a pretty good singing voice. Let's face it, as fun as her records were, Nancy Sinatra was no diva.

And the fact that in 2001/2002 a record like this can top the charts is interesting indeed, though Robbie's name has a lot to do with it, no doubt. This comes from his latest album, Swing When You're Winning, full of covers of Sinatra, Bobby Darin, Dean Martin and others, and with a cover that brings to mind the artwork of Ol' Blue Eyes' late 1960's Reprise albums.

"Gotta Get Thru This," Daniel Bedingfield

Okay, now THIS song sucks.

This had actually already been the Number One record in early December before Robbie and Nicole began a reign that lasted through to the beginning of 2002. At that time, the record reclaimed its undeserved honor.

Daniel's record falls into several categories of records we all know and don't love. This is one of those records you hear and ask yourself "Why the hell is this a hit?" This is also one of those records that is probably a lot of fun when blasted over a power soundsystem at a dance club but not too exciting to sit and listen to at home. This is one of those records that disgusts real songwriters, as "Gotta Get Thru This" is, like too many techno records, for the most part a two-bar bit that repeats over and over, with lyrics a second grader could have written (more than half of the song is simply the title being sung over and over, and more than half of what's left is instrumental). Basically, some producer found some rhythm, looped it, added some lyrics so that there would be at least some difference between the first minute of the record and the second, and then brought some kid in, processed his voice (his name is Dan, but you might mistake him for a Danielle), served it to the market, and the market ate it up. Well, the market is going to get indigestion from food like this.

"More Than A Woman," - Aaliyah

Like Selena, I had never heard of this singer until after her death, when suddenly, on MTV and VH-1, many apparent big names in the business (none of whom I had ever heard of either) were talking about what an incredible talent she was, and how she was bound for big things. Maybe I was out of the loop, but my reaction was comparable to the day Billboard introduced Soundscan and suddenly someone named Garth Brooks had three or four gold albums on the charts, or the day I first saw that Slim Whitman commercial that claimed he had sold more records than The Beatles (Turns out that yes, he did outsell the Beatles...in 1959!). In short, all I could think was, WHO THE BLEEP IS THIS PERSON?

Well, in January 2002, she scored a post-mortem Number One single in England with "More Than A Woman." Is it a cover of the Bee Gees' classic? No, I'm afraid we're not that lucky. This is another song that pretty much stays in one groove for the duration of the record. And, its another song that suits the dance floor more than casual music listening. Musically, it's really one bar over and over. The melody wanders a bit, but the lyrics sound just hung there to kill time before the chorus, where we get to hear the title sung over and over. She did have a somewhat sexy voice, but nothing unique about it. It's just another beat and groove record, that could have had any female voice and any lyrics applied to it.

I will say that the groove and melody here are more interesting than on "Gotta Get Through This," and the harmonies are maybe a tad alluring (whereas only Dan Bedingfield's lone voice is heard on his record). But at least "Gotta Get Through This" has a bridge, to take us if only temporarily out of the rut. Aaliyah stays rooted in that one pattern, and it's the audio equivalent of having your feet stuck in cement.

"My Sweet Lord," George Harrison

We already had so many things to thank George for. Add his knocking Aaliyah out of the top spot to the list.

In what I imagine must be the only time in chart history that one deceased singer ever bumped another deceased singer out of Number One, dear George's 1970 classic is still as catchy as ever, and it's heartwarming to see his country honor him in this way.

I still can't place what song it kinda reminds me of, but that's okay because this song is so fine the way it is.

"Hero," Enrique Iglesias

It starts out promising, like a folk ballad with some gentle Spanish guitar, but the techno beat soon comes in like an approaching subway train. Julio's son does have a fair voice. I must subtract points, though, for the lyrics, since they use one of my least favorite styles of lyric writing...a list. Almost every line of each verse is "Would you this if I did this," and "Would you that if I did that." Still, the song does build nicely from the verse to chorus, always a good thing. It's another one meant for the dance floor, but this one is (just) melodic enough to imagine causal listening. I'd give it a B minus.

THE AMERICAN NUMBER ONE SONGS OF JANUARY 2002:

Only two songs fall under this category. Americans tend to keep singles on top for longer periods of time than Brits.

"How You Remind Me," Nickelback

All I know from Nickelback is this one song, as is the case with all these artists except, of course, for George, so to judge a band or singer just on one song is unfair. I can say, though, that this particular record gives the impression of a watered down commercialized version of grunge (grunge for the whole family, if you will). While it retains all the downstroke powerchords, gritty (and often shouted) vocals and angry lyrics that made grunge such a massive (God help us) phenomenon, "How You Remind Me" is packaged around a melody and easy to understand lyrics about a relationship breaking off. One senses the band members like Nirvana (as is evident by their borrowing Kurt Cobain's patented "lightly strum clean-channel chords and gently sing on the verse, and then hit the distortion pedal, thrash and shout on the chorus" guideline), but that they like a good structured pop song. They pull it off fairly well.

"U Got It Bad," Usher.

A slow R & B jam about the breakup blues. There's actually a song down in here somewhere. The soulful vocals aren't half bad, and though this song sometimes stays in one groove for too long, it does work its way to a decent chorus. All in all, there's a Bill Withers feel to this record. Not a bad record, actually.

IN CONCLUSION...

Well, there were some reasonably decent pickings in the pile here, though none of these records inspired me to go out and buy them. I think of it like a less than amazing buffet table. It may not be the kind of food you'd fix yourself but there's bound to be something you can much on, so you enjoy what you can.

This exercise has also helped me come a little closer to answering that unanswerable question of "What makes a song good or bad to my ears?" If it has signs of true effort put into it, it's not a total loser. Unfortunately, as we've seen, a few songs that are overly repetitious still find their way up the charts. But, some songs with structures and melodies given some reasonable thought fall in there as well, so all hope is not lost.

I'll look at the February charttoppers next month, but I'll also return to my usual shtick, so all hope is not lost with me either.

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