Kurt
Hernon:
July,
2002
Whatever
Happened to the Bambi Slam? And Other Assorted Mixed-Up Thoughts
"You
know that you won't find whatever it is you're looking for
in that stuff." I looked up to see if it was I being
spoken to. It was. "That music," said the smiling,
clean-shaven face across from me. "I see you listening
to it all the time - listening and writing stuff on that computer
of yours. Why? Are you seeking something in it?" Seeking?
That word could only mean one thing and it tipped me off to
the well-scrubbed fellow's angle; I immediately knew where
he was going with this pre-evangelical inquiry.
"Seeking?" I asked back, noticing the Bible he was
reading.
"Yeah," he said with a grin. "Usually those
sorts of things - music, books, television, movies, drugs,"
the last word dropped from his mouth as if it were a piece
of rancid meat he'd just bitten into. DR-ughs. "Usually
those are the vices of lost souls," he explained. "They're
the golden calves of our modern society, false God's. And,
the thing is, that people - in defiance of God's very first
Commandment - tend to worship them because they are seeking
something they do not have, or that they have yet to find."
I nodded, trying to be pleasant while ignoring his overture.
"The answer is," he said, sliding his bible across
the table toward me, "right under your nose now."
He smiled and then chuckled a bit. "Under your nose,
not in your ears," he added, apparently hoping that I'd
remove my headset to listen to his spreading of "the
word".
I shot him a blank expression.
"Go ahead," he said with a smirk and a nod toward
the open bible in front of me, "Make my day." He
laughed in self-amusement. I turned off my music and removed
my headset.
"Look pal," I started. "I have nothing, not
a thing, against religion. In fact, I have my own set of very
sincere beliefs in some kind of higher power." I figured
that using "some kind" and "higher power"
might offend his God-ly sensibilities, but really didn't care.
"But the last thing I need is you telling me that my
spirituality - whether I seek it in that bible of yours, tea
leaves, a box of Cracker Jacks, or the music I listen to -
is anything less than yours."
I began to slip my earphones back into place when the guy
smiled at me and said, "Whatever happened to the Bambi
Slam?"
The dude had clubbed me, and good. I was floored. The Bambi
Slam! Jesus, I hadn't heard that name mentioned in years,
and even back then no one ever talked much about that record.
It was truly one of the lost pleasures of my past. But he
couldn't have meant the Bambi Slam, could he? I removed my
headset once again.
"What did you say?"
"The Bambi Slam
have you ever heard of them? They
were Canadian or something, or I should say he was - wasn't
that a one man deal or something?"
"Yeah," I said, flabbergasted. "Some guy called
"
"Roy!" he interrupted. "I really dug that record.
So you've heard of it, eh?"
"Oh yeah, 'The Awful Flute Song', Roy
and all of
that. I used to listen to it a lot" I must have looked
pale. I felt pale, like I was in shock.
"You okay?"
"Yeah
yes
I mean
Yeah, I am fine."
"Just shocked that a 'bible thumper' like myself knows
who the Bambi Slam was aren't ya?"
"I have to admit, yes, I am
very"
"I was like you once," his tone now turning preachy.
"I don't need a lecture right now," I replied, reaching
for my earphones.
"You probably think you don't, but that music, that lifestyle,
well it leads to Nowhere City my friend. You're a lost sheep."
I glared at the dude.
"And your lifestyle?" I asked. "It's superior
to mine I suppose?"
"Superior?" he chortled. "Well, judge not lest
ye be judged I suppose, but I am comfortable in knowing my
salvation is guaranteed."
"Well, that may be the case for you, and I would never
try and take that away from you. Live and let live I say,
and respect that ideal at all turns - but I don't need any
guarantees my friend, my salvation comes every day, every
time I turn this damn disc player on."
"Well, you may think that
"
I cut him off. "No, I don't think that, I feel it. You
see, you may get your answers in that book right there, and
that is fine, fantastic actually. I do not begrudge you your
religious beliefs, they are as urgently important to your
spirituality as this music is to mine. I find more consolation,
more answers, more comfort, more life, in these sounds than
I imagine I ever could anywhere else. It called on me from
a very young age, and it really hasn't ever let me down. Now,
that isn't to say that I hold the music up as a deity - my
God - or anything like that, but rather I recognize it as
humanity serving humanity through the grace of whatever higher
power or order may exist."
I felt like I was preaching now myself, a feeling that I am
never, and have never been, comfortable with. But this guy
was questioning something that I believed in dearly, and he'd
made the mistake of doing so while I was listening to the
most spiritually satisfying record I'd heard in a long, long
time, David Baerwald's Here Comes the New Folk Underground.
"The one Higher Power is not an order or something else
in the vague ideals that you seem to describe, that sort of
cop out is typical of the lost, but rather
"
"I don't need you to tell me anything," I said quietly,
cutting him short again. "I am very glad that you are
comfortable with your own station in life, I just wish you
could see to it that you might be glad just the same for others."
Glad just the same for others - a lesson we may never learn
on this planet I suppose. In Angola, Algeria, Somalia, Nigeria,
Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Sudan, factions in Central and South
America's, Senegal, Rawanda, hell, much or most of Africa
in fact, the Philippines, Korea, in so many places that the
so-called New World Order has taken its 'one-world-market'
and stripped indigenous peoples of their culture, their politics,
their humanity, and handed them guns but not food, and taught
them greed but not how to read. Doom. Everywhere that religious
fervor is the only thing that the people have left for themselves
anymore, where faith is the only identity that remains in
a world that has stripped them of the simple dignities - culture,
clothing, bread, and shelter - that used to serve as a bridge
between their differences. They are now left with nothing
but the tiresome fight over whose God is more right through
might. And as I try my damnedest to keep a distance from mingling
the politics of our times with the music about which I am
supposed to write I cannot help but wonder, with this evangelist
sitting across from me, peacefully, for now, how it has all
come to this. Worse yet, I get the feeling I know all to well.
I slid the bible back to him, a thanks-but-no-thanks gesture,
and tell him that I appreciate his caring, but I apparently
have a separate set of values and there's no use debating
them. I can see that he wants, or perhaps needs, to say more
to me, but I simply smile and put my headset back on and press
'play'. "One, two, three, four
" I hear David
Baerwald count off the opening cut from his new record, "Why".
The song is a gentle, flowing number that was written as Baerwald's
personal attempt at catharsis, an effort to reconcile the
tragic and difficult death of a close friend's seven-year
old son. It is as deeply spiritual as anything written in
any book, bible, in any film, or on any recent record (I later
ask Baerwald if the song worked as the catharsis it sought?
It did, he says, and isn't it funny how we can always just
move on in life? Amen brother, amen). "Why" is utterly
cathartic, even for those unfamiliar with its history. It's
freeing. It is both hallelujah and amen. It's as nourishing
to my spirit as any homily I've ever sat through, or as any
passage from any book of worship. And as my friend gathers
up his bible and saunters away toward his own version of salvation,
I stumble onto my own deep within this song. I, in fact, find
it all over this glorious, wonderful record. And I know that
this is all I ever really need. I am saved once again.
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