The World is Round: Spring is Back!

Monday, the first day of the work week, is notable four days hence as the beginning of spring. Spring signals the coming warmer weather, spring training, and the first flowers of the season. Pretty girls and, yes, women, look to park benches for a place to eat and catch some lunch-hour rays (men don't really care where they sit). These precious things, these precious benefits, and others, we sadly take for granted.

Taking things for granted has become a national obsession for all of us. That the fruits of spring appear like clockwork year after year is something that happens in the background, like a computer performing its myriad routines to keep itself running through all manner of brick wall. We expect these things, and so we only say something if they don't show themselves on time.

Which is why we need a campaign for spring, something along the lines of the famous Brian is Back campaign. "Spring is back!", volunteers charged with the adrenalin rush of the year's first full season would shout as they run through cities and towns, dressed in their bright, day-glo colored attire. "Spring is back!", they would happily pronounce. "Your old friend Spring is back in the saddle again!" Yee-hah!

Television and radio weathercasters would be most valuable in the carrying out of such a campaign. "Say goodbye to all of that nasty winter weather," the bulging waistline on Channel 6 could say, ripping a snug winter coat, mittens and ski hat off his person as the backdrop behind him turns from a settled snowstorm to a beautiful spring day, children frolicking, bees a-buzzing.

Schools could hold all classes outside. And if any student hurts himself while feeding his brain, a nurse could work a hospital-themed booth placed strategically along the school grounds and mend the fences, as it were. Salespeople in mattress stores could jump up and down on their wares for sale, throwing their arms into the air as they slash prices in honor of our old friend Spring.

"Spring has sprung!", the signs on record store windows could exclaim. "Our unwanted musical treasures are here at 50% off!" While it is certainly sad to think of any recordings as unwanted, it is a fact of life, as any veteran of cutout bins can attest. One man's treasure, after all.

So Monday is the first day of spring. What will you be doing to celebrate? And what will you be doing during the days following the first, glorious day of one of our favorite seasons? Fire up your iPod, dress appropriately, and get out there, one and all, and enjoy the wonderful days and nights!

And remember: Don't take anything for granted. Maxwell's Silver Hammer, and all.

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