The Pirate Conundrum

Sue Carpenter, in her lovely, recently-published book 40 Watts from Nowhere (Scribner), chronicles her time running two popular Los Angeles-based pirate radio stations, KPBJ and KBLT. The stations were aptly named because, ultimately, Carpenter spent her 15 minutes of fame as the for-the-people, the-hell-with-the-Man filling in a sandwich for which the Man chose the bread.

I've had occasion to speak to a few radio pirates over the years, most notably one of the visionaries behind the infamous Radio New York International, which broadcast, so it was said, illegally from off the coast of Long Island back in the 80s. I've always been interested in pirate radio. I was a big fan of the column in Popular Communications magazine, detailing the on-again, (mostly) off-again broadcasts of those folks who operate in the shadows, under the radar, for fear of being caught by the Man. But I'm pretty sure some of those pirates had no such fear.

Apart from the attraction of doing something they're not supposed to do, many pirates have a much higher, loftier goal in mind: Giving the airwaves back to the public. Changing the world for the betterment of all. The government and corporate broadcasters (are there any other types left?) would have you believe that the airwaves do belong to you and I, but that just simply isn't true. If it were, all the money those fat cats are making delivering cookie-cutter sludge to listeners would be going into my pocket, and yours, too.

When broadcasters take an honest stand on the public ownership platform, and that is so rare these days it really hurts, they mirror the pirate aesthetic. Pirate stations, unless they are run by suits sporting I-Me-Mine tattoos on their foreheads, are tailoring their programming for their listeners, thereby giving the people what they want. But that comes with a price-either commercials, in the case of commercial stations, or pledge drives, in the case of stations relegated to what used to be called the college band, the first smidge of the FM dial.

The only problem with all of this is that giving the people what they want isn't often profitable. Take me, for instance. I'd love a station that played no less than all Beatles, all the time. Throw in a dash of solo stuff, and the occasional Beatles-sound-alike, and I'd be happy. But that kind of format, spread over a full day's air, is a tough road-tough to get advertisers to sign on, tough to get listeners to stay tuned. Variety, after all, is still the spice of life. It's tough enough to program two hours of Beatles music a week. I know, because I tried before I started the Pure Pop radio show, and without sponsors making it worthwhile financially, it simply runs out of steam.

But you love the Beatles, and so do we, you say. Well yes, and yes, but there just isn't enough material there to sustain a regular program. What about those Beatles shows airing around the country? I doubt they'd still be on the air if they weren't financially feasible (but I bet nobody's making a killing).

Which brings me back to the pirates. They start out not caring one whit about the money. If $100 will buy enough parts to jury-rig a small transmitter and get that great garage-rock sound out to hungry listeners in a two-block radius, that's all that matters. If they can get a couple of people to come in and spin their favorite records, and somebody who knows something about electronics, and maybe scam some free music from some of the record companies, they're happy. But as Sue Carpenter discovered while running her stations, there is much more to it than that. There's dealing with your deejays stealing CDs, getting much-needed money to improve your signal (and put in place better safeguards against getting caught by the Man), and dealing with the structure that inevitably comes into play. Pirates don't start out with a whole lot of structure-they do what they want, and damn the torpedoes-but, if they become successful, they wind up having to wear the uniform of the Man, even if it is tailored to fit a somewhat less powerful figure and there is no tie involved.

Satellite radio is kind of on the right track, mixing the pirate aesthetic with the business sense necessary to keep a many-multi-million dollar enterprise afloat. And one of the satellite providers, XM, seems to be making it work, having just gone commercial-free on all of its music channels. XM's decade channels, in particular, are taking on commercial radio with fairly wide-ranging playlists and deejays that sound like they're having a great time. The three guys who captain the 60s ship really have it going on. They sound really happy to be there.

But XM, and Sirius, the other satellite player, and any other startups that may appear in the future, for all their attention to their listeners, still have to answer to their investors, so they can only go so far in giving the people what they want. It's back to the pirates, and Internet radio stations, then, for music tailored for particular tastes.

Thus, if it's power-pop you're looking for, you'll probably gravitate Live365 on the 'net to Billy G. Spradlin's Jangle Radio, or to Popbang Radio. If your Beatles jones needs scratching, you're probably tuned into Beatles-a-Rama. No matter your taste, you can probably find what you're looking for in cyberspace.

But what you're looking for probably isn't radio, because Internet-only stations are generally deejay-free. It's all about the music. But deejays come with the package, or at least they did when I was growing up, and to me, stations that play wall-to-wall music with minimal deejay interruption, so to speak, are not radio stations. A bunch of years ago, I was putting together a proposal for a book on the history of Top 40 radio with a certain, famous New York disc jockey. He gave a sample chapter to a friend of his, who disagreed with the whole premise of the book-that the deejays were often as important or more important than the music they played. This dismayed me, and it still does (by the way, the book never wound up getting off the ground).

Pirate deejays will always give you their opinion, and try to sway yours, because, after all, that's what it's all about-getting your message across, and hopefully somebody will hear it and consider it and act on it. Hopefully, somebody who can hear you will take your message about punk or garage or polka to heart and investigate it and become a fan, and be able to keep up with you while talking about it over coffee and a cruller at the local greasy spoon.

I have to believe that most people get into radio with the best of intentions-"I'm going to have the coolest radio station ever!" "I'm going to play the greatest soft pop of the 60s and 70s! The Sidewinders will finally get their due!" "I'm going to buck the Man and all He stands for! To hell with commercialism-I'm going to go without so my station can go with!"-but it's hard to operate a station that truly is the property of the public in a business environment within which business erases all pretense of meeting the public's needs.

There was a push for low-power, over-the-air radio stations that don't interfere with standing signals, that don't cover more than a large parking lot's-worth of listeners, but that won't be enough to set things right. Sure, it's a start, but it's not enough.

What will it take? Is Internet radio the way to go? Perhaps when it is truly portable, e.g., anyone can go into their local Wal-Mart and buy a tiny, truly portable Internet radio receiver for 10 bucks. But even that won't do the trick. No, it's going to take something way more powerful than that.

It's going to take a complete overhaul of the Communications Act. It's going to take a complete turnaround on the part of corporate broadcasters who pretend to serve the people, but really only serve themselves. It's going to take brave broadcasters who recognize that the Howard Sterns of the world, and, yes, avant-garde, needle-pushing, loud-as-all-get-out, Richard Carpenter-inspired speed-easy-metal, need to be heard, if only because the public, or at least a segment of it, wants to listen.

Sue Carpenter, and others like her, had the right idea. The airwaves are supposed to belong to the people, but they do need structure, just as everything in life needs some sort of structure, however loosely defined. When broadcasting licenses cost many millions of dollars, they cannot belong to the people, many of whom have mortgages and kids and other responsibilities, and may have 10 dollars in their pocket at any given time. But, at the same time, we can't have people taking over the airwaves any old time they want and airing what they want without regard for personal tastes that may not converge with theirs.

It's a conundrum, I grant you. And I'm glad I'm not the person charged with coming up with a solution. In the grand scheme of things, it's going to take all of us to come up with an answer. It's going to take patience and clear-headed, visionary thinking. It's going to take people who refuse to take no for an answer until it has been proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no is the answer. It's going to take risk-takers. It's going to take common sense.

It's also going to take time, and perhaps more than a little nurturing. One shouldn't have to live in fear of being caught when trying to change the world.

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