News Flash! News Flash! News Flash!

Hey, guess what? All pop music is not good! A good deal of what we like to call pop/power pop/guitar-pop/psych-pop/whatever-the-hell-it's-called-this-week sucks. And sucks hard.

Now, I'm obviously a fan of this type of music, and have been for quite some time. And yeah, sure, there's some good stuff out there, but the signal to noise ratio has become increasingly noisy in the past year or so. I mean, I had a difficult time compiling a freaking top 10 list last year, for Crissakes, and that NEVER usually happens.

But I think one problem here is easy to spot: too many folks lacking the ability to write memorable SONGS (remember them?). Yeah, you've got the form down, and you can yeah, yeah, yeah with the best of 'em, but howsabout writing a melody that'll remain once those Rickenbackers stop chiming? And don't even get me started on the uber-pretentious, dyingly hip crap that the Stews of the world spew are involved in. Sorry, self-gratifying wanking that's a one-way ticket to Nowheresville ain't my scene.

I'm not sure why this is or what exactly is causing this phenomenon, but I do know that the pop scene was teeming with activity just 5-6 years ago, but now a lot of what's going on seems to be old hat. Perhaps musicians have realized that this pop deal ain't gonna be no gravy train (a la Seattle in the early '90s), so they've departed the scene for greener pastures. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm waiting for something, anything (get it?) to kickstart pop music again.

Another tangential problem as I see it is the inability of most musicians who are a part of the indie pop scene to handle any sort of constructive criticism. I've been playing the review game since around 1985, and I've lost count of the number of musicians (or their significant others, which is a whole 'nother story) who have severely chastised, insulted or spoken badly about me over a negative---or seemingly negative---review I've written of their music. Hell, one guy even penned a lyric about one of my reviews and stuck it in one of his songs. (I was flattered---until I heard the song.)

Now, I don't set out to hurt people. I don't say negative things in reviews simply to be an asshole. I'm not a bad guy. I have a wife, kids and even a dog (who I don't kick). I know it takes a lot of effort to do what musicians do and that it takes huge nads to put yourself and your work out there to be judged. I feel your pain, guys and gals.

But my mission as a music journalist is to tell the truth, or my version of it, at least. Sure, I could be one of those annoying "Pop Flag Wavers" who always smile and say nothing but positive things about the scene---until you get them alone in a room, that is (cue Lou Christie's "Two Faces Have I"). Or I could only review the records I like, and offer a skewed perspective. Or I could do what I do, which is write what I feel. (WOW! What a concept!) If I think something sucks, I'll say it.

Problem is, most musicians don't like when you "say it," no matter how delicately you put it. Case in point: I just had a minor skirmish with a relatively well-known popster whose music I generally enjoy. Why? Well, I gave his latest CD a positive review, with lots of huzzahs and whatnot. Mentioned ONE MINOR THING that I thought was not quite up to snuff.....and horrors! Quicker than you can say "The Negro Problem blows," I get an instant message from said popster, whining about my review and the one oh-so-minor negative comment.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I told the guy that:

1. I really do enjoy his music.
2. His album was really, really good.
3. If he didn't want to ever hear ANY constructive criticisms about his music, he may be better served to not release records and just play his music at home, while in the loving bosom of his family and close friends.

Trust me, I have a million such stories: the one about the ever-supportive wife of an East Coast pop guy who was ticked because I didn't call her hubby a "genius" in my review remains a personal favorite tale. (she also sent me an e-mail moaning "what have we done to upset you?" after I didn't place her loved one's CD in one of my year end top 10 lists.)

Then there's another grizzled right coast pop vet who was HIGHLY insulted when I dared compare his band's muted mumblings to those of Elliot Smith. "I wrote my first song when Elliot Smith was in Pre-K," he huffed. "And how dare you sabotage our advertising!?"

Sigh...

Another pop dude went off the deep end after I mentioned in print that his band "sorta blows" (actually, I was being kind...they're completely dreadful). I received a two page e-mail missive from him, berating me for my opinion and telling me that I do absolutely nothing for the pop scene.

Anyway, you get my point; there are a lot of fragile egos out there, kids, so if you or a loved one are thinking of getting into the music journalism biz, be forewarned.

Wait, did I forget to tell you about the guy who cancelled his subscription to AMPLIFIER because I had the nerve to say that I don't care for The Jam? Or how about the online Posies fanbase who titled one of their Posies tribute collections "Bring Me the Head of John M. Borack?"

The least they could have done was sent me a copy....

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