Mike Bennett: October, 2000

What If Glam...?

A fun, albeit worthless, question to ask is, What If? I once had a history buff roommate whose bookshelves were bursting with books speculating on What Ifs. What if Lincoln hadn't been shot? What if Franco had lost the Spanish Civil War? What if Guttenberg was a pornographer? What if Hitler had invented the Etch-A-Sketch while in jail, instead of writing Mein Kampf? Unfortunately, I never read these books, so I don't have the answers to these hypotheticals. But I could probably come up with some good What Ifs for pop music.

Q: What if Elvis died at birth, like his twin brother?

A: Rock and roll was starting to happen anyway, but without a galvanizing star, it's impact would have been greatly diminished.

Q: What if the Beatles never formed?

A: Stu Sutcliffe would be the most celebrated painter of our times, and pop critics would be using the term 'Dave Clark Five-esque' much more often.

Q: What if Big Star had a hit record?

A: They'd reunite every six months, and Alex Chilton would put out lots of records with crappy cover songs (some things wouldn't change).

There is one What If that I have thought about a lot, probably because it deals with my formative years as a budding music freak: What if glam had hit it big in the U.S.? Think about it. The mid to late-70's were not a great time for rock. The U.S. rock scene was becoming increasingly self-important, with more emphasis on scale than hooks. The Raspberries, Dwight Twilley and lots of one hit wonders (like Pilot) were keeping pop on the charts, but these artists weren't as 'serious' as such bores as The Eagles, Robin Trower, et. al.

Meanwhile, glam superstars like Sweet, T. Rex and Slade -- virtually shut out Stateside -- were keeping hook oriented music alive as a viable constant on the British charts. Here, the rejection of glam was a one-way ticket to the acceptance of bloated arena rock that emphasized proficiency and largeness over wit and songs. America had a choice, and chose Boston, Journey and REO Speedwagon. Sure, there have been some sporadic pop breakthroughs, but the U.S. lacks the steady stream of pop careerists that have existed in England since The Beatles.

Q: So What If glam had made it here?

A: The U.S. charts would share more in common with the Brit charts. The skinny tie/new wave movement would have taken firmer root, probably dulling the impact of hair metal. Punk would have been more acceptable, and maybe the Undertones or Ramones could have managed a hit. And artists like Tommy Keene and Material Issue would have become stars. Oh…and Noddy Holder would have become a sex symbol and frequent Love Boat and Fantasy Island guest star. OK, nobody said this What If business was all fun and games.

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