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Mike Bennett:
July, 2001
Headline: Jellyfish Box Set in the Works
This
news has filled some pop fans with joy. It has filled me with
dread. I'm already cringing in anticipation of the paroxysms
of ecstasy that will litter one of my favorite Internet mailing
lists, as Jellyfans whip out the adjectives of praise for
the unreleased manna from their popgods.
It's not that I hate Jellyfish. I hate Journey, Depeche Mode,
Emerson, Lake & Palmer (individually and collectively).
I loathe Matchbox 20. I'm indifferent to Third Eye Blind.
Of course, there is a separate category for favorites of ex-girlfriends,
etc. Jellyfish does not belong in any of those categories.
They aren't terrible. Jellyfish falls in my "what's the
big deal" section. I have tried and tried, and listened
and listened, and just cannot fathom why so many powerpop
fans consider this band to be one of the all-time greats.
This creates a unique type of dislike, as I wouldn't mind
Jellyfish so much if people would just shut the fuck up about
them.
But that won't happen soon. So I'm going to take this space
to explain why Jellyfish makes me go all Dremble Wedge, cloaked
in extreme indifference. First and foremost, Andy Stuermer's
voice. There are some vestiges of arena rock in it, an excess
of shimmer. It's somehow pretty without being pretty - kind
of the way that Playboy centerfolds are so obviously enhanced
that despite their pleasing proportions, they are still asexual.
Hand in hand with the voice, the band itself is pretty soulless.
This, despite the fact that, particularly on Bellybutton,
the songs have some R & B structures. Yet the songs are
performed in an antiseptic style that sucks out the soulful
nutrients. Rock music has rarely sounded whiter than it has
in the hands of Jellyfish. They make Ambrosia sound like The
Isley Brothers.
Of course, this could be overlooked if the band rocked. But
the not-a-hair-out-of-place aesthetic dooms the band from
the start. For all their affectations, Queen, an obvious 'fish
influence, could really build up a head of steam. Not that
the band wasn't instrumentally capable of it, but it was apparently
against the Jellyfish credo to sweat - or at least to VISIBLY
sweat. OK - maybe "Joining a Fan Club" rocks some,
but it's an anomaly.
Of course, sweating might have detracted from the precious
cleverness that was their trademark. Now cleverness is usually
my thing - my complete Sparks and They Might Be Giants collections
being exhibits 1 and 2 of my pro-clever nature. But cleverness
works best when it serves a great song. When the song is about
being clever, it doesn't work nearly so well. Too often, particularly
on the Spilt Milk LP, ideas and arrangement tricks
are thrown in the mix with little regard given for the flow
of the song.
And the final thing that really irks me about Jellyfish is
that the Sturmer vocal sound and the ultraslick production
have proven to be really influential on a certain segment
of the pop community. So I just can't escape them.
This isn't to say that there aren't a few Jellyfish songs
on mix tapes - "That Is Why" and the aforementioned
"Fan Club" are way cool, junior. And since Not Lame
is so cool, I want the box set to make them a ton of cash.
Just don't expect me to buy one.
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